She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
