capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Randomize
