Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
