why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
