Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
