You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
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