The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
50% drunk capacity currently
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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