Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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