and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
