Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
