we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Randomize
