i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
