A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
