Got a toothbrush?
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
