i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
