You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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