i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
