You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
