Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
