This girl is more easily done than said...
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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