i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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