afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
