i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
