I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
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