lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
