I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
