Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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