HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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