i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I cut my penus on the lid.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
The air taste purple.
Randomize
