Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(434): View more from Virginia

ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl

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(740): View more from Ohio

I think I took your hangover as a birthday present

Fav 5 2269 941
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(805): View more from California

all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.

Fav 14 1136 4317
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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."

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(208): View more from Idaho

please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack

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(615): View more from Tennessee

I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.

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(778): View more from British Columbia

Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"

(1-778): View more from British Columbia

Too much penis in there.

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(214): View more from Texas

You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.

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(702): View more from Nevada

Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.

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