omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Is Oprah even human
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
