Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Come on in and take your pants off
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