Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
