He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
