A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
