We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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