Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
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