THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
