i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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