Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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