Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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