bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
