I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Randomize
