Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
