I wish I could punch you in the face.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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