I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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