You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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