she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Sorry about my life...
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
