i will never coherently bang her
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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