I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Randomize
